You are a man and you are with a female friend in public when you notice her pants have red spots indicating it’s that time of the month but she doesn’t seem to notice it. Just what would you do?
One Sunday, a Chinese female friend of mine – I will call her Xiao Mei- and I had agreed to have lunch together. We had been friends for almost a year but had only met once. This afternoon would be the second time we would be meeting since knowing each other.
As we walked into a restaurant, one guy who was enjoying his cold beer outside the eating place beckoned me to his table. I hesitantly complied as there wasn’t much the two of us could talk about. I knew him as just another African in a foreign land. Then he told me: ‘Your friend (the girl) has her pants spoilt by some bloody spots.’ I knew what that meant. I didn’t want to believe him.Not that he was untrustworthy, but because I just couldn’t imagine the task he was assigning to me – to let my female friend know about it.
Meanwhile, Xiao Mei, had comfortably seated herself inside the restaurant, going through the menu, ready to order her dish on my return from outside.
Feeling heavy, I walked back into the restaurant, debating how I would deliver to Xiao Mei the observation by the guy outside.
I sat opposite her, still not sure of what to do or how to do it. Then I leaned towards her to try to whisper something into her ears. She didn’t seem to get what I was trying to communicate. I hated myself!
At the table just behind me were some English speaking foreigners. If I spoke ‘clearly’ in English, those guys would obviously get what I was talking about. If I spoke to her in Chinese, the locals enjoying their lunch at a table on our right hand side would also pick up the message. I didn’t want anyone to get to know what was going on.
So I decided to write my message on my mobile phone and showed it to Xiao Mei. You should have seen her face turn red in disbelief!
As she walked towards the Ladies for the obvious, I looked at her butt. I couldn’t help notice how bad the situation was. I felt more embarrassed than she might have been.
Well, I will not give a minute-by-minute account of what followed. I guess it’s enough to say, though, that later she managed to change into a dress, which, fortunately, she had in her bag as she was coming from another friend’s place where she had spent a few days.
When she came back, Xiao Mei was extravagantly apologetic, not for the situation she had found herself in but I think for having to be told about her situation by a man with whom she had no emotional attachment. I also think she felt embarrassed that this had happened on a ‘date'. It wasn’t actually a ‘date’, though.
Well, I assured her it was ok…I understood such things are bound to happen. However, I kept asking myself two questions:
1. Had I handled my communication in the best way possible to minimize the embarrassment she would suffer in my presence?
2. What would have been the best way out if she didn’t have any clothes in her bag? She obviously needed a fresh and clean pair of trousers.
I wonder how other guys would you have handled the situation. Let me know what your approach could have been. And ladies, how best would you expect your male friend to handle the situation if you were Xiao Mei?